disconnected

the efficiency paradox

Earlier this week, I shared a post about how my Apple Watch broke and how I realized I had become increasingly and gradually connected to everything. I say gradually because there wasn’t a day when I was immediately connected to everything digitally. It was a gradual decline from no notifications to a relatively high level of availability.

You can read that article here:

Now, it’s got me thinking about how dependent I have become on technology and how, even though it might make me more efficient, I am starting to wonder if I’ve actually become less efficient.

Case: My washer and dryer are synced with my phone. (If you have a Samsung model, like me, you probably can hear the “song” at the end of the cycle that alerts you that it’s done.) When my load is finished I not only hear the above mentioned song I also get a notification on my phone. Typically, I’ll stop what I’m doing, stand up, and switch the load. And then, because I don’t like to get behind on laundry, I’ll fold the load that was in the dryer. And then, because it keeps going, I will take the basket of folded clothes and put them away.

Efficient, right?

At least I don’t get behind on laundry.

But here’s the paradox: I work at home.

Therefore, in my quest to keep up with everything, I often stand up in the middle of what I’m doing (or writing) to attend to the laundry. And as a writer, it often breaks my flow, my rhythm, of what I’m doing.

I’ve tried going to Starbucks or Panera, too. But, but, but…since everything is synced I will still get the notification and stop the train of thought and redirect it to something else.

But it’s not just my washer and dryer. It’s my dishwasher and fridge. My front door with my Blink doorbell. Messages. Phone calls. The thermostat. It goes on and on and on.

I might be more aware, but I’m also much more fragmented.

This week has been a bit of a release of availability. I’ve missed texts, calls, laundry cycles ending, Facebook messages, Substack notifications, fridge-door-open events, and so on. And not only have I made it, I’ve also rediscovered a part of me that got lost in the busyness of the last five years.

It’s strange because I LOVE technology. I’m an early adopter of things and love that I can see my doorbell in Nashville while on vacation in Northern Minnesota.

But do I need to get notifications when this is outside?

my pic from our place in Minnesota

But how does it ultimately help me?

It’s like the USPS Informed Delivery Paradox. Years ago, in my first marriage, I lived with severe financial issues, including issues with the IRS. As a result, anything with the three letters IRS on the front instantly sends a wave of paralysis and then fear down my spine. Then fretting. Then panic. The angst. Even though my life and finances are now fixed. Well, a couple years ago when I was in Minnesota (again, always on vacation) I saw in my Informed Delivery that there was a letter from the IRS. And it made me anxiety-ridden.

Fast forward a couple of days, and when I was back in my driveway, I opened that letter, which said, “Thanks for using the IRS Online Portal.”

Instant fear for nothing.

The “knowing” took away my peace.

And now I’ve realized the notifications are doing the same. The irony for me is that my writing and my business are deeply integrated with the online world. I’ve written online for fifteen years. I run a Facebook page with almost 1.1 million followers. I am there and present and love my community.

But.

Because there is always a but, this week has made me realize I need to remember to unplug, to disconnect, and to exist without the pressure of needing to always be present in the digital world.

I’m still unpacking all of this, honestly. Still thinking it through. It’s taken me almost a week not to instantly check to see if my watch is there and not panic because it’s not. My family has also begun to realize that I am not always aware of the time (they always would say, “What time is it?” and because I had the watch, I always knew).

And my clothes are surviving.

They are washed, dried, folded, and put away, with only the song, and not the notifications. And I bet if there wasn’t the song and the dinging, they’d still get done.

I need to reclaim my time.

That’s what I’m discovering. I need it to be controlled by me, not technology.

That being said, I’m still thinking about an Apple Watch, but I’m now thinking maybe I just need a Fitbit because I like having music when I run and I like knowing my pace. But, I don’t think I need the rest.

At least for now.

We’ll see what happens.

Is this just me?

The efficiency paradox is unraveling and with it the unknown tension in my soul.

~Rachel

#findingjoy

Thanks for your support. I am grateful. For my paid members, I’m sharing some additional prompts and activities to help you pause, reflect, and reclaim your time.