out of sync

oh yeah, and my apple watch died.

I’m going to start by sharing a not-so-astonishing realization — I relied on my Apple Watch, and almost everyone who knows me would say the same (and they relied on me wearing it). The only reason I’m aware of this is because on my vacation to Northern Minnesota (see pic below), my 4.5-year-old watch decided it was done.

my picture from Northern Minnesota. see why it’s so easy to untether?

I think it was partly my fault.

I went swimming, forgot to take it off, and had that sixth-sense moment that said, “Maybe you shouldn’t have it in the water even though you’ve always had it in the water.”

I didn’t listen.

And therefore, about two days after we left the lake, while in Minneapolis, my watch kept glitching back to the emergency screen. This was an unfortunate screen to default to, as I was paranoid about accidentally placing an emergency call.

Which, again, if you knew me in real life, actually happened once while I was shopping at Kroger. That time, as I tried to log into my Kroger app to get my discount card, I instead was greeted by a 911 operator who said, “Maam, are you okay?” to which I replied, “Yes, I’m in aisle 11 trying to pay!” to which she said, “Are you sure?” and then it took a bunch of time (felt like hours but probably a minute or two) to convince her I was okay (she was just doing her job) and then even more time to unlock my phone.

So, again, when my watch defaulted to THAT screen, I thought, “Shut it down.”

That created an avalanche of more glitches, and by the time I finally returned to my home in Nashville, the watch had decided it wanted to only show the dreaded blue screen of death. And now, no screen at all.

It’s done.

That being said, my family is used to me being available ALL THE TIME.

They’ll send notes, call, ask for the time, you name it and suddenly I can’t answer. I miss their calls and texts.

And honestly, I kind of like it.

Yes, I’ve been looking for a new watch (ouch, the price), but I’ve decided I’m not going to be in a rush. I also realized how much I track of my life: steps, running pace, time, emails, messages, etc…. and how, in some ways, I unknowingly became bound to a piece of technology.

Maybe the universe was saying, “Girl. It’s time for you to be untethered a bit.”

It’s a bit uncomfortable because I trained myself to always be available and to always have data. Who would have thought a $300 object strapped around my wrist would hold so much power? And yet, if you looked at my arm, you would see summer freckles everywhere and a very white band where my watch used to be. I don’t think that skin has seen the sun in years.

I’m out of sync.

That’s what happens to me on vacation. I lose the drive and the goal-setting, and I instead just kind of chill out. Wait. I really chill out.

And then it takes me a bit to get back in sync.

It’s uncomfortable. It’s obvious (like my wrist), too.

Maybe that’s summer. Maybe it’s the time when we put the brakes on the hustle, just for a moment, and then we find ourselves a bit untethered before the frenzy of the fall picks up again. Here in Tennessee, my kids start school in August, and my college kids go back, so the frenzy is just weeks away.

Perhaps the Great Watch Breaking of 2025 is a loud nudge to my soul to re-evaluate priorities and why all of that data matters.

Did knowing my steps make me a better person? Maybe. But, do I need data to validate success? Do I need the “You did it!” of closing all the fitness rings to keep me going? I think more than anything, this out-of-sync feeling has taught me just how dependent I was on external sources to validate the completion of things.

I kind of like being a bit less available.

It’s almost as if I can breathe a little deeper again.

There’s margin.

I’ll probably get another watch. And I know I’ll get back in sync. But, for now, this is me in the heat of the summer, feeling unapologetic about not immediately reading and answering messages or knowing the time every single second.

~Rachel

P.S. For all of my paid subscribers — thanks for bearing with me for the last two weeks. I know I didn’t post the Sunday list and journal. I needed a moment to think, to ponder what to do next, and to not feel so bound by creating that it was forced. The last paid post included a link to a journal that I created — be sure to grab that. And I’ll be back on Sunday with more journal prompts and activities.